“There are dreamers and there are realists in this world, you think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. See the dreamers need the realists to keep the dreamers from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists? Well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.”
When I was a teenager I had an idea of what being an adult would be like. I thought when you reached a certain age you would be satisfied with life. There would be no more dreams or fantasies. At least not beyond a green lawn or Sunday brunch at the Golden Griddle. In my mind, grown ups reached a point where they sat down, said “Well I had a good run“, and accepted the inevitable march of time until their death. Boy was I wrong! I am 45 years old and although my dreams have changed, I no longer think being a Formula 1 race car driver is in the cards, still my dreams are as large and grandiose as my youth.
In about two years I am selling my house, which will necessitate me to find a new one. Here is the dilemma I am struggling with. Do I purchase a new home, in a nice neighbourhood with parks nearby? One with an open concept and decorated exactly as I have always desired. A home where I can invite friends and family, where Jim, Anya and I can put down roots, make popcorn and have family game night. Or, do we put our belongings into storage, pack our bags and traipse off someplace new and foreign with sun, exotic locale and large man-eating insects?
Sure the second one sounds fun; new culture, new foods and new experiences. The dreamer in me doesn’t even know why I am hesitating. The realist side of me has concerns. I would be taking my daughter away from her friends and school, with its excellent French immersion education. We would be leaving behind our closely knit family not to mention mine and Jim’s jobs.
I have Jekyll and Hyde in my head, each trying to shout down the other.
“You only live once”
“You can have a nice home and just go on a holiday.”
“New experience will expand Anya’s horizons.”
“What if the schools are no good? What if she doesn’t make any friends?”
Have I been brainwashed by Hollywood (ie. Under the Tuscan Sun) and House Hunters International or have they just opened my eyes to new possibilities. If I was 21 years old and single I’d throw on my backpack and be gone, but that’s the thing, I have a child who I want the best for. I have a wonderful relationship with Jim. Would moving to a Yurt in Iceland put a strain on us?
Unfortunately I don’t have an answer but perhaps you do, my unbiased yet opinionated readers. What road should I choose? What would you do? I’m waiting…I only have two years left, the clock is ticking.